July, 2024
Focus Topics for July, 2024
Challenged by Communicating with Others? Here are Some Basic Skills.
In my work with clients, individuals, couples, families, a request is often made learning how to communicate effectively with others. Individuals are often faced with challenges at work relating with peers, supervisors, or others at their place of employment. Individuals, couples, and family members frequently experience the inability to express their thoughts and feelings for understanding to process issues and situations.
Effective communication is crucial in any relationship, and using "I feel" statements can help express your emotions without blaming others. For example, instead of saying "You never listen to me," try saying "I feel unheard when I speak and it makes me frustrated." This approach can lead to more productive conversations and better understanding between individuals.
When using "I feel statements" the speaker is accepting and owning their thoughts and feelings. When "you statements" are made in a conversation, this is a stance of blaming others with accusatory stance. An example of a "you statement" would be, "Why do you forget to do your tasks?" Using you in a statement is viewed as an attack toward another individual which creates defensiveness.
Resources are provided to learn more about effective and assertive communication.
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Effective Use of "I feel" statements
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Conflict Management and Mediation
Basic Skills for Resolving Issues in Families, Couples, and the Workplace
Conflict is natural when relating with others in the workplace, within families, or with issues surfacing in couples. Conflict resolution and mediation are important skills to have in both personal and professional settings. Whether you're dealing with a disagreement among coworkers or trying to resolve a conflict with a family member, learning how to effectively mediate and find common ground can lead to more positive outcomes for everyone involved.
Effective communication skills are crucial in resolving conflicts. Active listening, clear and concise expression of thoughts and feelings, and the ability empathize with the other person's perspective are all important components of successful resolution. By utilizing these skills, individuals can work towards finding mutually beneficial solutions and maintaining positive relationships.
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Conflict Resolution Skills and Processes
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Conflict Resolution Skills for Couples
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In the Heat of the Moment, Anger Management Tools
Anger is an emotion or feeling experienced in many situations. Anger management skills are essential for maintaining a healthy and a positive outlook on life. Learning to identify triggers, practicing relaxation techniques, and developing effective communication skills are just a few ways to manage anger. With dedication and effort, anyone can improve their ability to handle difficult and emotions.
Anger can really be another emotion, or include other emotions, such as frustration, disappointment, sadness, hurt, annoyance, etc. A good example an anger visualization would be an iceberg, named anger above the water surface, yet beneath the water feelings have been involved in the iceberg such as annoyance, hurt, disappointment, frustration, sadness, grief, stress, jealously, and etc.
When an individual is experiencing the emotion of anger, they need to write down other feelings they may have which has triggered their anger. Anger may then be changed to another feeling to best explain their emotion.
Resources are provided on anger and anger management.
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Anger-How to Recognize and Control Anger
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What I Am Reading This July
Periodically, I revisit previously read books. "Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life... and Maybe The World" by Admiral McRaven is one of those special books. This work addresses how certain concepts he mentioned in a graduation speech several years ago hits home for so many who have read the book. He starts with the experiences of being a Navy Seal, starting his career, having to do the basic task of making the bed. As his speech continues, Admiral McRaven states it is the first thing one does in the morning, and after having a hard day, you can come back to something you did well, that you did, your made bed. I encourage your reading this life changing work and sharing with your adolescents and college students to gain insight on what concepts are necessary for living a meaningful life. In his video, he outlines the 10 lessons for making changes in one's self and the impact on others.
"Make Your Bed" Video from Admiral McRaven​