August, 2024
Focus Topics for August, 2024
Self Esteem
How Can Self Esteem Be Improved?
Through the years working as a counselor, client sessions often focus on the topic of self esteem. Clients, due to issues from the family of origin (the family or environment where they spent their childhood and adolescent years), situations experienced in youth with school or social environment, or other circumstances, created their viewing themselves with less preceived self-worth or personal value.
Self worth is similar to the term of self value. Self-worth and self-value are two related terms that are often used interchangeably. Having a sense of self-worth means that you value yourself, and having a sense of self-value means that you are worthy. The differences between the two are minimal enough that both terms can be used to describe the same general concept.
​
Self esteem is having a low opinion or view of one's self, having lack of confidence in many areas.
​
Clients learn, in counseling, to challenge their negative self belief system (irrational) to create a new, fact filled perceptions (rational) through use of CBT approaches, reviewing the family of origin history and dynamics, and also to develop ways to gain insight for change utilizing tools provided in the counseling experience.
​
Resources for review:
Fitting In and Self Esteem for Teens
​
Grief and Loss
During the month of August, there is a focus on grief and loss with the observance on August 30th of National Grief Awareness Day. Grief and loss often is noted to be about the death of a loved one, yet grief can be occur with loss of marriage due to divorce, loss of a job, moving to a new location leaving friends and family, break up of a relationship, loss of health due to serious or fatal medical condition, and other types of situations with life change.
How does one navigate through the grief process? Use of the three "C's" is effective-Choose, Connect, and Communicate. By using these strategies, one can develop or create a plan for working through mourning (which according to Worden) which never ends.
Having useful tools and researched based resources does help to provide support and guidance through life changes due to grief and loss.
​
Below are various resources that can be viewed and possibly beneficial to those in need of valid information. ​​​
​
Resources for Helping Young Children Grieve (0-6)
​
Resources for Helping Older Children Grieve (6-12)
​
​
​
Resources for Parents and Caregivers
Resources for Advanced Serious Illness​​
​
Parenting Resources for the Start of School Year 2024-2025
School has started in some areas and in others near the end of August or beginning of September. Parents or caregivers may need some good ideas to make positive changes for this school year. Parents with children entering school for the first time may need information for their children to have a great adjustment to the exciting new part of a child's life, entering school.
​
A few resources that I use with clients have been provided, as well as some new ones to review.
​
(Tiimely topics for all ages of children-infants to college age)
​
(A focus mainly on ADHD issues, yet great resource overall for parents and adults)
​
Back to School-PBS for Parents
​
(For Teachers and Parents)
​
​
​
Parents need to make certain to monitor their child's amount of sleep, use of technology, having daily physical activity, and healthy eating habits. More items will be posted in the next month's focus as we move through the start of school and into the holidays.
​
What I Am Reading This August
As an EAP counselor who, each week, counsels couples, this topic surfaces during the sessions, either at the beginning or as work begins with the couple. One or both partners do not have the necessary skills to work through issues involving conflict, therefore, conflict turns into "fights". Every couple will have "fights" but how a couple fights is what is more important. The first three minutes into the "fight" determines how the argument will proceed.
A new book, "Fight Right" by Dr. Julie Gottman and Dr. John Gottman, address how to successfully work through conflict, and develop communication for improved connection. Conflict is a normal part of life. How one becomes involved in the conflict is where the challenge begins. More often than not, each partner relates to their parter through skills learned in their family of origin (how their parents or caregivers) addressed varying opinions in the family.
Use of "I feel" statements is emphasized in the model of "I feel .... about .... and this is what I would like...." A basic skill in communicating is use of the "I feel statement". Practice takes time to learn not to say "You did this" but instead "I feel".
Personally, the word, fight, isn't one I like to use, instead conflicted topics seems more effective for me as a counselor to address with couples varying topics of conflict.
This work is researched based by Drs. Gottman with a study guide included for couples who may wish to study on their own or with a therapist.
​
Video by Drs. Gottman on "Fight Right"
A Ted Talk about "Fighting Right"
​
​
​